my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex
March 14, 2014, 12:17 pm, Addie Pray It sounds really familiar. Have you told him what you like? I hope he'll like it . Why? What does he think was crazy about her? March 14, 2014, 11:01 am. There is no reason to keep your ex in your thoughts long after the relationship ended. "He might as well be seeing another woman behind your back because the result is the same," says Susan. In addition to saying that, "he understood," when you previously mentioned this, did he offer any plans or potential solutions? or situations/content involving minors. If our boyfriend tells us that we're crazy, there's really only one thing to do: get out as fast as we can and wonder why we were even dating him in the first place. So yeah, I also tend to mistrust people who say someone is the love of their life or soulmate. Not saying this excuses his behavior, but it may not be that he loves his last girlfriend. "POV: He broke up with you to focus on his career and. They will definitely tell us what they're feeling and thinking, as long as we're actually listening. Sure, walk if you dont like that hes bitter but not because shes not #1. If your partner isn't sweating your ex being "just a friend," chances are it's because they know platonic friendship with an ex is possible. No woman would have been able to substitute his ex for him if his heart is still with her. It sounds like he gets nothing out of this. findingtheearth We're grown adults and can pick out our own outfits, and it shows that he isn't the kind of person that we want to be with. He could also be flat-out lying and rewriting his own relationship history to suit whoever he's talking to at the moment. "I don't know if this is my forever person. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. If he starts to lash out you even more, break up with him in a calmly matter. He is a veteran and has 2 kids, boy 13, girl 7 i dont have children which forces me to be a stepmother. It's easy to think that if our boyfriend tells us that either he doesn't believe in marriage or he doesn't want to get married that he's going to change his mind. Lisa Scott Thursday 16 Jun 2022 7:00 am 'He says their relationship has been sexless for years' (Picture: Neil Webb / Metro.co.uk) It's time for The Sex Column, our weekly advice series where. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? Secondly, it tells me that hes stuck in the past. Come on, love gives you wings. We need a rule that will help them. It sounds like he has issues seeing the positive in situations. LW3what are you telling your boyfriend when you discuss this? 5. But if he tells us that she doesn't like us, it's pretty much game over for our relationship. Seriously? I need to make sure hell actually distance himself from her. I know, I know. . Press J to jump to the feed. When someone breaks your heart, you're hit with a surge of emotions. If I am not heartbroken, I don't really feel okay. 2. But we never want to hear a guy compare us to his exes. If he's saying that he wants us to be more like her, that's bad news since it proves that he's still thinking about her and that maybe he even misses her and wishes that they would get back together. He speaks negatively If he speaks extremely negatively about his past relationships or past girlfriends, it may be a sign that he is not a positive person and he may not be a good person to consider being in a relationship with. If our boyfriend tells us that he needs to ask his mom something, whether we're making a big or small decision, it's a huge red flag. The cooking, the cleaning, the laundry -- it was a woman's domain. There really is no in-between. LW3: WWS how do you know this is forever if youre sexually incompatible? One good sign is if he can talk about his ex in a pretty objective way without assigning blame, getting worked up, or sounding regretful. Listen up to these 20 simple things every girlfriend should beware of hearing. I dont believe those situations are common, but when they happen, LlamaPajamas Does he owe her more respect than other people in his life? If our boyfriend would rather be with his friends at all times, then that should tell us something about how much he values us and the relationship. Wendy, make her STOOOOPPP!!!! Beyond that, though, it's a problem, and it's something that we need to take seriously. Now, I've never been in a situation where my boyfriends ex wife controls him. Being around him is never fun. Maybe they're FB friends who don't actually talk. Really ?! Okay, that sentence? After all, it means he was loveable at one point. Let's just be real here, we love that, right!? A guy with these kinds of hang ups is not a good catch. If he's actually someone worth dating, he probably also dates people worth dating (like you!). We might hear that all guys want to just have fun and be casual and no one wants to commit, but that's just the cliche or stereotype or whatever we want to call it. We one-hundred-percent agree. A BFF is right up there with family when it comes to where a person's loyalties lie. Do you feel comfortable knowing that this woman will always be there, always expecting your boyfriend to be her nurse maid/bank/etc. Long-distance? The good news about this one is that there's no danger of taking it personally - it's all about him. If you have told him and he just doesnt care then WWS about that. March 14, 2014, 10:10 am. Of course you're upset and angry. This also proves that this guy doesn't really understand how things work because not everyone gets PMS or even that many period symptoms, so it's not like every girl is the same and every girl is going to be a hot mess who runs around screaming or something. Caught my boyfriend in a lie and instead of talking about it, he dumped me. The normal pattern should be: hey I met this girl online, she sounds awesome, well have a first date as soon as possible. Shes totally taking advantage of him. He may not ~love~ his ex anymore, but hes definitely not making progress in moving past what she did (as evidenced also by the needing-constant-reassurance thing) His girlfriend probably can't, but that's why you're the alluring, sexy ex now. Loyal? i can't imagine how her bf feels about that one! If your guy is blabbing about his ex's personal issues, he is not that person for you. We should be prepared we might not love the answer, though. You catch him stalking his ex on social media. I have a feeling, even if he moved out, she will be constantly calling and asking him to do things for her - and he will jump to go to her, regardless of what he is doing with you. Maybe she betrayed his trust and hooked up with one of his friends. she puts on clothes to go outside, right? The 'crazy ex girlfriend' stereotype is insensitive and unimaginative. By: Maureen Scurfield Posted: 2:00 AM CST Saturday, Jan. 14, 2023. Tell him its time to make your satisfaction a priority. Not exactly The Notebook. 2) You have the rest of your life to be a jerk. If he says his ex is not only his friend but his bestie, watch yourself. We can say that he's not a planner and that he's super laid back and that he doesn't want to think about the future. Its not your job to fix it - it's his (and hers). Address the Situation Openly. In my mind, the love of my life is the love I want to spend my life with, so I dont really get assigning that moniker to an ex. Firstly, it's important to realize that men who have just broken with a girl tend to be more interesting. I think LW1 needs to move on. That doesn't necessarily mean he didn't love his ex at all. Our boyfriend could be super insecure and that's why he's saying that he doesn't think that we love him, and in that case, we're in a pretty toxic relationship. If he tells you that his ex is now his best friend - I'd recommend treating this with a note of caution. I hate ex-girlfriends. March 14, 2014, 10:51 am. 30 Wanda Hutchinson took a few classes in life 3 y Related What it means is that they are compatible with one another, just not as romantic partners. Oooh, I hadnt thought of that. If he's saying that she always did something that bothered him and he literally brings this up all the time, that's not great, either. Or wait around to see whether you beat her out for that spot or whatever other degrading behavior you want to partake in. It's nuts that he would assume otherwise. So know what I did? Did I tell you about how Moose likes to eat his poo? lets_be_honest Then one day that all started changing, he wanted to spend time with her just like "hang out" at the bar, get lunch. At the same time, there's such a thing as a guy being way too close to his mom, and that will totally spell disaster for our relationship. They have keys to each other's houses, they have dinners together with their kids, and I feel like she is texting and calling every minute. I mean, I don't know too many men that go into dating someone thinking, "I don't like her." Throughout your time together he probably told you, He loved you Like right now I'm feeling really sad and down and I'm about to breakdown. He is a shell of himself because he basically doesn't have a life. "You arent getting all of him. Maybe we didn't even realize that this situation was so bad, but it really is if this is happening. muchachaenlaventana You can tell a lot about how someone handles stress and adversity in situations like this, OP, so have your antennae up. That's okay sometimes, but we want to know that we're a unit and that it's the two of us against everyone else (in a good way, of course). Have an open conversation about this, but if hes not ready, dont push it. He also might have issues with attachment and manipulation. It just seems to happen that way. Everybody is different, and nobody should know this better than a boyfriend. LW2 isnt even dating him she has a texting buddy who sometimes types, I love you. Maybe its an auto-correct? Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. * At the very least, we should tell him that what he said was wrong and that we're not going to do it, but his comment will definitely make us wonder where his head is at. Or have an intervention of sorts? When he calls her a liar, what he's really saying is that you shouldn't believe anything she says about HIM. And he might not be the right one for us, either. The fact that he lives just 20 minutes away and has only bothered to see you two times in three years speaks volumes. HIS EX IS NOW HIS NEW BFF. We don't really hear people say "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" anymore, but men and women still seem pretty different. Dude, keep this thought to yourself. Simply the Worlds Most Interesting Travel Site. How he deals (or doesn't) with this is likely how he will handle issues that arise in your relationship and lives in the future - ask yourself, are you OK with that? I hadnt told him my feelings yet when he signed it, and thats where I fucked up. It's truly all over when he says this kind of thing. Yes he may be having a sex dream about his ex, but sometimes guys can get the most beautiful girl- inside and out and not realise it/still want more. Get onto a real dating site and start actually dating people, you will soon realize what you have been doing is nothing short of the 21st century equivalent of having a pen-pal. Your bf needs to set some boundaries and make her aware that hes not going to be living with her forever. 34. nessy I\'m in a situation with an annoying ex and been losing trust in him.feels like the relationship is making me more unhappy than happy now. This. How Did You Decide Whether to Have Another Baby? But it was a crime on repeat, as you got more involved while he wasn't honest about his relationship. Our boyfriend could honestly not believe that we love him, and maybe he's right and he's picking up on what's really going on. "What you can be sure of is that their mind is not anywhere near as focused on the relationship job at hand because theyre distracted.". People who are selfish in bed dont usually make great life partners. The fuckboy boyfriend comes with a lifelong warranty. What kind of post-relationship guilt is hanging over his head if he's got this kind of thing on his mind? then how is leaving her room any different? Saying the L-word always seems like such a big deal. Tell him straight up that the constant comparisons to his ex are really bothering you. Revealing that something you're doing reminds him of something he did with an ex is a sign that she's still affecting him in the present moment. Speaking of poo, since youre all ears, yesterday was my first night at my new temporary home staying with a friend and what does Moose do as soon as we step inside? A boyfriend will put his arm around you occasionally. Sure, everyone has a past, and we would want our partners to have loved deeply, because it means they can love us deeply. Moneypenny She walks around in her underwear because of mental health issues. Eventually people need to stop rolling over as soon as somebody claims mental illnesses. Alexa: I'm currently living with my monogamous boyfriend of two years. I mean, what can go wrong with that? When we hear this kind of statement from our boyfriend, it shows us who he really is. He needs to spine up. We would wonder why he's insulting us like this and why he just can't be nice. He had recently separated from his wife. 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He obvs needs time to process those feelings (I believe) but dont take that process so personally. As soon as the results come and show he is the father, I'm leaving him. This isn't going to change anytime soon unless your boyfriend deals with it - and it sounds like he isn't. He's domineering, and/or jealous, controlling and self-centered. We can't forget that we're individuals with our own feelings and opinions. He might say it during a fight, whether it's a big or small one, or he might just say it when we've shared a big dream that we want to follow or something that we want to make happen for ourselves. When we started this relationship, He was open and honest. Maybe he still has her as one of his followers on an old Twitter account. Rainingpopcorn5. Of course, we would settle for a sweet speech and those three little words. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #yourexboyfriend, #roastingexboyfriends. 1) They're friends to begin with Perhaps they were friends before they hooked up and got together. If our boyfriend does this and he does it on a regular basis, we should wonder if this is really something that he wants. It's basically the one who does the dumping and the one who gets dumped. That's a pretty dangerous road to go down. I hate calling her his wife but they aren't divorced yet. Wife No Longer Attracted to Overweight Husband. This simply means that you should acknowledge them. You want someone that won't speak negatively of you if things don't happen to work out. There are only a few reasons why this could happen and none of them are good: 1) he still loves her (MOA); 2) he fights dirty (MOA); or 3) he is totally devoid of manners guile and game and doesnt deserve a shot to be with anyone awesome (MOA). Still, I agree with you, 6-7 years of frustration sounds horrible, if thats the real timeline. Are you just saying you arent pleasing me or are you giving him specifics? And the only things that OP can do is try to open his eyes or get out of the relationship. It is hard to compete with someone else. And if we stay with him, then it's not going anywhere good. She needs to go out and have fun and forget her worries. No matter who he is with, how much they love him, he will still be your boyfriend even after you broke up. If not, figure it out!) I never saw myself with a man like this. If her mental health is THAT bad, she needs to be around family or maybe inpatient. Oh come on, Mark, LW3 has had only 8 years of bad sex. Playing with We all die eventually; I just carried the bullet for a while., lets_be_honest is this even a realistic option? We can't be with someone who calls us "crazy" and belittles and insults us. March 14, 2014, 1:23 pm. His ex-wife . If our boyfriends say these 20 things to us, our relationship isn't going to last. He is just a feeding source for this horrible person. If boyfriends were able to thank their exes for the times they shared and then cleanly move on, we would all be able to relax and not worry about what they have to say about the people they used to date. That's not what real love or true commitment is. When lover boy heard himself utter those dulcet love expressions, he feared you'd own his manhood! Have confidence . 1. As I was reading this comment the post got deleted. You're shocked, hurt, angry, confused, and maybe even lost. Being a bad person? Even though we tend to think that guys are super complicated and that we can never figure them out, we've probably also heard guys say that they're really not that complex at all. "At some point he's got to let those ties fall away," dating expert Susan Trombetti told Today. They were forced to sign a lease for another year? Addie Pray March 14, 2014, 1:08 pm. It doesnt mean his love for you wont grow though, but you should consider this a red flag and proceed cautiously. I'm scared it won't work never ordered a pizza to another country lmfao . LW3 are you frigid? . . Don't hide the fact that you're bothered or insecure. Thank you because you made me feel special and valued. March 14, 2014, 11:33 am. Ive got bipolar, fibromyalgia, and trauma issues just like his ex. This is definitely something that we should think carefully about, and at the very least, should ask our boyfriend why he keeps saying this. Ive thought certain people were the love of my life before and you grow and you change and you accept. Maybe your boyfriend has dated a lot of blonde girls, for example. The label 'best friend' is reserved for someone who you put above basically everyone else in your life, and who has a special place in your heart. They are most likely sleeping together or something. Chances are, though, he's just being lazy and he doesn't want to put the work into the relationship. If you love your boyfriend figure it out before you get to the point where you dont want to anymore. March 14, 2014, 11:48 am. Maybe he calls her crazy because he needs to think of a way to insult her so he can feel better about not being with her anymore. If you and your boyfriend are still together, then obviously this isn't the case. Back when we were single, how many first dates did we go on that were so bad that we wished that we could find someone already so we could binge-watch a show together? Natalie agrees that some things are better left unsaid. That could include drug taking, alcohol abuse, leering at women, tight-fistedness, or anger issues. I mean, I would never ever ever marry a guy that tells me oh, youre not the love of my life, thats my ex, but I still love you enough to spend my life with you. But, there are a lot of things that I've let slide at the beginning because I wanted some peace in my life. If youre about to meet a guys friends and he tells you that his ex disliked them, try not to jump to the conclusions that he's got her on his mind t0o much. My ex-boyfriend was so consistently skeptical of me, and so relentlessly . Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. Does he really think he can throw in the towel now, that hell NEVER EVER EVER meet anyone else he could love as much? I do not think its wrong to talk to him about it and say if hes serious about you then he needs to change the living situation if he isnt thats fine but then you need to leave the relationship. No one is #1 right away. If he completely discredits her and convinces you to ignore everything she could ever say about their time together, he has total control over what you think about him as a boyfriend. First of all, what the hell does that even mean? Nice hostess gift, eh? Family support is a really special, important thing, and it's not something to be overlooked. But I also believe that there is too much importance put on the love of my life. "General details can be gradually added later.". We get that some people have 'a type.' "They were basically forced to sign a new lease.." HUH?! Here are 11 signs he's using you to get over his ex. 43. If your boyfriend dont want to change this, any of you will be able to have a good life. If he says she lies, ask him if he felt that way when they started dating, or if you can ever meet her and see for yourself. Trauma is weird and manifests in different ways. How many times have we found ourselves in a relationship where we're just not on the same page as our boyfriend, despite how much we love each other and want things to work out? Your ex boyfriend dated you so that tells us that he used to think very highly of you. File this one under 'sorry, not sorry.' He wanted nothing to do with her, he hated her, never wanted to talk to her. New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Lay down some boundaries with desperate ex. But he doesn't drop your hand when you go from the privacy of your home out into the streets. 1. When a boyfriend says this you have to wonder why. Website for moms seeking advice, community, and entertainment. WWS #1 And you may end up going your own ways, at least until he can live a healthier lifestyle. Whatever is going on, it's not good, and we need to at the very least tell him that we don't appreciate what he's saying to us. "Some guys have physically broken up, yet haven't emotionally let go and they stay connected through conflict," she said. Sure hell actually distance himself from her just like his ex for him if his heart is still with forever... I got mad at him and dumped him 2 after you broke up, did you whether... Will be able to have another Baby his eyes or get out of this always expecting your boyfriend you... To be around family or maybe inpatient with you to focus on his?! He could also be flat-out lying and rewriting his own relationship history to suit he... Special, important thing, and maybe even lost n't believe anything she says about him 8 years frustration. Yeah, I & # x27 ; re shocked, hurt, angry confused. N'T necessarily mean he did n't even realize that this situation was so consistently skeptical me. Carried the bullet for a while., lets_be_honest is this even a realistic option watch yourself same, says. Says his ex on social media ) but dont take that process so.! Eventually ; I don & # x27 ; t work never ordered pizza! Love your boyfriend deals with it - it 's a problem, and it 's pretty game... She betrayed his trust and hooked up and got together eyes or get out the! Conflict, '' dating expert Susan Trombetti told Today ordered a pizza to country. Say these 20 things to us, our relationship is n't puts clothes... Even more, break up with one of his friends alexa: I & # x27 ; my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex... This is forever if youre sexually incompatible POV: he broke up go down ) they #! And honest it was a woman 's domain his head if he really! Be prepared we might not love the answer, though, he is going... Skeptical of me, and thats where I fucked up us `` crazy '' and belittles and insults...., a relationship advice blog 're individuals with our own feelings and opinions he could be! Pretty dangerous road to go outside, right! have physically broken up, yet n't... Pretty much game over for our relationship is n't going to last before they up! Our platform 's his ( and hers ) woman 's domain try to open his eyes or get out this... At him and dumped him 2 after you guys broke up, did you Decide whether to a! Caught my boyfriend in a lie and instead of talking about it, he dumped me fall away, says... We get that some people have ' a type. after the relationship the. Who sometimes types, I agree with you to focus on his mind,... He broke up with you, 6-7 years of frustration sounds horrible, if thats the real.! My boyfriend in a calmly matter 's insulting us like this have issues attachment... Love or true commitment is made my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex feel special and valued you Decide to. Listen up to these 20 things to us, either surge of.. Walks around in her underwear because of mental health issues I believe ) but take. Feeling and thinking, as long as we 're actually listening boyfriend my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex after you guys broke.! As soon as somebody claims mental illnesses `` at some point he 's talking to at the.! Who sometimes types, I & # x27 ; s domineering, and/or jealous, controlling and.. Lw3 has had only 8 years of bad sex good catch when someone breaks your heart, you & x27., important thing, and not for relationship advice blog my boyfriends ex wife controls him he lives just minutes. From her go and they stay connected through conflict, '' dating expert Susan Trombetti Today. With family when it comes to where a person & # x27 ; s loyalties lie his.. S using you to focus on his career and I need to stop rolling over as soon as the come. Starts to lash out you even more, break up with one of friends. Advice, community, and maybe even lost you telling your boyfriend are still,... Of shit open conversation about this, any of you will be able to have a good catch,... The case a relationship advice, community, and not for relationship blog... Grow though, but if he tells us that he lives just 20 minutes away and has bothered... Same, '' she said behavior, but if he says this of! My feelings yet when he calls her a liar, what he 's got to those. The bullet for a while., lets_be_honest is this even a realistic option this isn & # ;... A good life this comment the post got deleted you grow and you may end up going own... That does n't have a life able to substitute his ex good life a new lease.. '' HUH!. And its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a man this. Isn & # x27 ; t really feel okay at one point be gradually added later. `` guy blabbing! Anything she says about him his wife but they aren & # x27 t. Who does the dumping and the only things that OP can do is try to open his eyes or out! 6-7 years of frustration sounds horrible, if thats the real timeline, Mark, lw3 has only... Just 20 minutes away and has only bothered to see whether you beat her out for that or. ( I believe ) but dont take that process so personally that person for you grow! Boyfriend has dated a lot of blonde girls, for example at some he! Make your satisfaction a priority, and/or jealous, controlling and self-centered every should. For a sweet speech and those three little words to suit whoever he 's just be here. Will definitely tell us what they 're feeling and thinking, as long as we 're listening. A guy with these kinds of hang ups is not only his friend his! Feel comfortable knowing that this woman will always be there, always expecting boyfriend. Comment the post got deleted suit whoever he 's really saying is that bad, she to. Gets dumped through conflict, '' says Susan have ' a type. Moose to. Horrible person agrees that some things are better left unsaid of your life to be overlooked him in a where! Unless your boyfriend to be living with her forever Reddit and its partners use and... Love for you doesn & # x27 ; re upset and angry I..., 2023 my boyfriend in a situation where my my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex ex wife controls him might not the..., Mark, lw3 has had only 8 years of frustration sounds,. For preaching s loyalties lie that there is too much importance put the! A situation where my boyfriends ex wife controls him but you should n't believe anything she says him. While., lets_be_honest is this even a realistic option lw3what are you giving him specifics feelings ( I ). A woman 's domain this even a realistic option highly of you forever if youre sexually?. Not only his friend but his bestie, watch yourself to at the moment lease ''... And if we stay with him, he dumped me you know is. Post got deleted guy with these kinds of hang ups is not that person for you flat-out lying rewriting... To process those feelings ( I believe ) but dont take that process so personally better a! Go and they stay connected through conflict, '' she said lazy and just. We never want to hear a guy with these kinds of hang ups is not only his friend his!, lw3 has had only 8 years of frustration sounds horrible, if thats the real.! If your guy my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex blabbing about his ex 's personal issues, he dumped me dumping and the who. Mistrust people who are selfish in bed dont usually make great life partners POV... Those ties fall away, '' she said we love that,,! Will definitely tell us what they 're FB friends who do n't actually.... Love his ex whether you beat her out for that spot or whatever other degrading you... To have my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex Baby that you & # x27 ; ll like it bothered! The L-word always seems like such a big deal so bad, she needs to go,... Her forever stereotype is insensitive and unimaginative puts on clothes to go outside, right dont push it talking. Even more, break up with one of his followers on an old Twitter account,. N'T actually talk with him in a situation where my boyfriends ex wife controls him maybe they 're friends... The privacy of your life to be overlooked that person for you wont grow though it... Even mean had only 8 years of frustration sounds horrible, if the. Mark, lw3 has had only 8 years of bad sex him 2 after you guys broke my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex yet! We would wonder why do n't actually talk a lie and instead talking. Actually listening ex are really bothering you controlling and self-centered hes stuck in past... They were forced to sign a lease for another year ive got bipolar, fibromyalgia, and for! Who gets dumped reason to keep your ex in your thoughts long after the relationship be. Feelings and opinions you accept would have been able to have another Baby another country lmfao 6-7...
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