i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible
Read More >, I hit my boyfriend and I hate myself for it. And yes, I am very remorseful. Keep your accountability intact so your husband knows that you are willing to make needed changes. When we are clear-headed, violence seems like the furthest thing from our minds, an impossibility that we will never turn to. I'm also betting there are times you're walking on eggshells because you can feel a fight coming up and no matter how you respond to him or act towards him, you always choose the wrong answer, always do something wrong that sets him off. My boyfriend got into a heated agrument last night where he accused me of cheating on him with a mutal female friend because durring the night we would often joke about her being my girlfriend etc and because we kept going to the bathroom - manly because we were drinking a lot that night( by drinking i mean - i was thirsty so i kept myself hydrated with water etc, however i did have a beer BUT was not drinking to get drunk nor was i tipsy) and needed to use the bathroom therefore we went . The statistics on physical violence, stalking and harassment, emotional abuse or psychological aggression, and financial abuse are all prevalent. I know in my heart I can change is a great thing to say and to want to mean. I locked myself away in the room because of my guilting was emotionally unstable. Truth About Cell Phones In A Relationship. I know I should have just gotten out of the car, to let him cool off, but it angers me that he is the one who messed up, and then tells me to go away! What does that look like, can you describe how he gets? This will definitely help you keep your mind off of him. Started Thursday at 10:00 PM, By Without confirming the story or even talking to Jimmy about it, Susan confronted Jimmy and said she knew he had been sleeping with another woman.. Poor Jimmy was completely taken aback. I regretted it the second I did it. The goal has to be clear: never again. You don't try to strong arm ( or slap arm ) a guy into doing all you want; and if you do, well, alas, eventually there's a price to pay . These are not the actions of someone who cares about you. Immediately, I slapped him. This is such a mindfuck right now. The general perception is that domestic abuse only occurs by men against women. Has this happened to anyone else? Updates But when emotions run high, it can make a person unstable. I don't understand it. Although it's hard, remind yourself that , he does nonetheless love you and he doesn't want another girl. There are many common instances where domestic violence occurs, either in boyfriend or girlfriends or husbands and wives. Two minutes later he apologizes for raising his voice, and I give him an attitude and say "ok". You should both make this over for good. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. If you won't file a police report now at least have that to hand to show why you ended things with him if he gets crazy later and you have to take out a restraining order. So pay attention to this next bit. Neither of us is sure how it even came up as a part of conversation this weekend, but he said something that I interpreted as a defensive excuse, and was so hurt and appalled that (it seemed) he was allowing an excuse for what he did. This has been a huge issue for me as I'm relating it to abandonment and distrust in him. I've decided that I'm going to start as well. You should feel awful as it is abuse (I cannot believe some of the responses in this thread - talk about a double standard!). Your relationship should grow from such an experience. clearly you know better. He slapped me back and I slapped him again then all of a sudden he slapped me so hard that my ear started to ring. My boyfriend still loves me and wants to stay together. We have talked about it, he's aware of how it makes me feel but has continued to do it. It has the potential to impact your physical well-being, emotional well-being, sexual and reproductive health, and finances. Feeling horrible. The last thing your ex boyfriend wants is to be with a needy or obsessed girlfriend. Warning: Your Ex Is Very Near To Having Sex With Someone Else Soon If you do not take action now, your ex will be lost forever to someone else! To you, him leaving and calling it quits, was unreasonable. Read More >. "My partner emasculates me by hitting me each time." I want to be able to control my anger and control my emotions and never be violent again. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. I recently got into an argument with my boyfriend. Even if there is no possibility of remedying things with a significant other, there is a chance to make things better with oneself. You will instantaneously become more appealing to him especially if you were calling him several times a day begging for his forgiveness. And it went left from there. By These intervention types can help recognize where the errors in judgment were, why they occurred and provide methods for managing angry and violent behavior before it can manifest. I most definitly plan on continuing with counseling. Which of course I will definitly be there for her in any way I can, however I'm scared on how I'm going to be able to handle this all by myself. My boyfriend is starting therapy for unrelated issues, and I've decided it would be good for me to go myself. I know us seeing each other everyday won't make things any better. You need to find a way to direct your anger in a healthy manner as opposed to injuring your loved ones. While this may sound rather simple and completely opposite of what you want to do, if you want to get your ex boyfriend back then you need to cut off all communication with him. It's horrible when we lose control and really screw things up. Manage Settings Take some time by yourself and look at what you were feeling at the time you slapped your boyfriend. But given that you hit him, being in the relationship right now isn't right for you clearly. I don't think I deserve it. You may think, "I love my boyfriend, but I hit my boyfriend and notice that I can get angry or engage in name-calling," or "I love my boyfriend, but I hit my boyfriend and use controlling behavior," and if this is the case, it is time to reach out now. He is now trying to act as if everything is normal, calling me etc laughing about the violence that happened last night however i now have a sore/sworen eye due to how hard he hit me and i just don't feel the same about him or the relationship anymore but i am scared of losing him. Not only do you have to apologize because you behaved foolishly, but you almost have to start from zero with rebuilding the relationship. I've never thrown or hit an inanimate object out of anger before. One thing led to another and I ended up slapping him and telling him to get out. I feel so angry and mad at him but most of all my feelings are hurt. Some use violence as a response to a significant other who is not listening. His leaving and refusing to respond is another power move. Does he not understand you can go to the cops with that black eye and have charges pressed? toughlove1993 Many do not wish to have this kind of inner perspective. There are huge signs that this is the case and you've suggested the same. Whether or not you mean to be violent becomes irrelevant as emotions take hold. If he would have kicked you out where would you have gone? I need help. You didn't use your words, you lashed out. Making a sincere apology really, truly meaning it deep down is essential towards mending bridges with your significant other and leading to resolution and repair. I really love him and I don't know why I get so violent. But advice with glaring double standards are not going to help anything. You are right about there being something clearly wrong if this is something that still managed to get to me so many months later. Side effects of abuse may include but aren't limited to physical injury, disability, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a higher risk of depression, decreased self-esteem, houselessness, substance abuse, and anxiety. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.. I feel horrible for what I did and how I made him feel- not that that excuses anything. It's amazing to me that he forgives me. I wish I could reach out to you. One in every four women experiencessevere intimate physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking in the United States. I hit my boyfriend because he wont listen happens far too often. As black people what would linking with Mexicans do for us? You sound like you self-sabotage and self-abuse, along with your partner abuse. I most definitly plan on continuing with counseling. To think of him never returning hurt her considerably, the thought of losing him forever was very painful for her. She casually reminded him of all the pleasant times that they had had together. In addition it will come into view to your ex boyfriend that you are not as emotional over the break up anymore. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. If not, do these problems ever get resolved? Again, this is not how someone who cares about you behaves. His faith is so incredible and I'm so grateful for it. Once violence enters the picture it's over . He says that he is just super in control of his emotions. tiffanyyoung00August 28, 2016 in Breaking Up Advice. Now, he is getting REALLY angry. I don't even get angry when I drink- and I don't get drunk often. You don't indicate how old you are, but if you're old enough to have a girlfriend you're old enough to start acting like a man. This guy crossed the line by pushing and slapping you. According to the World Health Organization or WHO website, 30% of women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence. I'm sure he says he loves you, cares about you, etc., when things are good. Similarly, I am not a violent person, but if I ever slapped him in an argument, I would expect the same. Honestly, what is my problem. Seeking to change, regardless of how tough it actually ends up being, is an essential step. Things were going very well until I overreacted. Both my boyfriend and I have independently done a lot of reading on domestic violence and abuse since the incident. I broke up with my boyfriend is one of the more common things uttered when violence occurs. For those seeking to remedy their past behavior, it is important to know that this behavior doesnt necessarily mean that a person is toxic and cannot be helped. He thinks the violence was funny? , that it's a no-no. What did you expect?! Therapy Can Help - Get Matched With A Licensed Therapist Now. There is no theory under which it is ever acceptable or alright for a man to lay his hands on a woman. As a woman, I wouldn't hit back my 4'9 female friend. New Love Island host, Maya Jama shows off her outfit. Started Monday at 08:56 AM, By I know I'm wrong as fck and he has every right to be done. Unfortunately, for you, he doesn't see it the same way, To him, you assaulted him. I feel that way too. No, my household wasn't abusive growing up but it was very stressful regardless. Really, I do. I've been together with my boyfriend for a little over a month (both 15) and im starting to think I am a lesbian. I slapped my girlfriend and feel horrible about it? Without that clear goal, there is a higher chance that you wont follow through and that violence will occur again. You choose the wrong answer/wrong action because no matter what you chose he was going to blow. My boyfriend kept sitting there. Started Friday at 07:51 AM, By Label the action and let them know you saw its impact. 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